I’ve seen a lot on social media today about #maternalmentalhealth and I think it’s fabulous. It’s a subject extremely close to me and I really don’t think it gets talked about enough.
It’s one of the main reason that I am doing what I am doing – to help people get through the fog and start beginning to feel like them again through exercise.
When Chloe was about 3-4 months old, I felt like I was drowning, that there was no end to the relentless cycle of a newborn baby and I really really struggled to cope. I was lucky in that I had a supportive husband, had met some fabulous friends though an antenatal group and had some great close friends who had babies already but I still struggled. I felt like I shouldn’t have struggled because I had all the above but I still did – and it was the strangest, most horrible feeling and I wish I’d talked to people about it.
It’s so hard to admit to yourself that you’re not ok, let alone talk about it to others
You sit in your house in the middle of the afternoon and think “so many people are coping and doing this, why cant I?” or “everyone tells me this is the most amazing time, why am I not enjoying it?”. You make yourself feel like an outsider in your own life and that there must be something wrong with you as you should be loving every second and embracing “motherhood”!
Luckily I found something which snapped me out of feeling like this. For me it was exercise (or maybe it was actually just doing something for me and not for the baby!!) I loved it – the feeling of being normal again and feeling like the old me. I realised then that I needed to make time to be “Becca” and not “Chloe’s Mummy” and thankfully that realisation for me was the trigger I needed to change things for the better and I did, I managed to battle on. I’m not saying I don’t get down every anymore, I have just somehow developed a coping mechanism for it now which is mostly running but a lot of the time it’s actually organising to go to the pub!!
I now want to help others who are going through the same (or worse) or maybe even prevent others from going through the same cr*ppy situation I went through. I think we all need to talk more and I want every new mum to realise it’s ok to say you’re not ok and that as much as people look like they’re coping from the outside, that we’re all totally winging it in life.
Please talk to someone if you’re struggling – I just want you to know, I am always here if you need/want to offload. Remember – someone is ALWAYS listening you are not on your own.
And finally – just in case you havent heard it today – YOU ARE DOING A BRILLIANT JOB!